What We can Accomplish
In a recent visit to my home state, I stayed in an historic hotel that had pictures from early statehood. I was struck by how the white settlers of Oklahoma started with a tent city in the late 1800s and in less than 20 years had built more than one entire city with substantial infrastructure. Most of my hometown of Guthrie, the original capital, was built in about 5 years. They went from dirt to multi-story buildings in the blink of an eye.
It got me thinking about what we as individuals can accomplish in our own lives. On the one hand, five years sounds like a long time. But at our age, we can easily look back five years and see where we were and where we are now. And we can imagine that we will be around in five years. Can we envision taking our personal landscape from prairie to the creation of our imagination in five years? Two years? Less?
Of course we can. But only if we have of vision of where we want to go. Those of us in midlife may be wondering what is next, or what even is left to do. But now is the time to use our imaginations to create a future by design.
What do you imagine for yourself? Do you still have the ability to picture a bright future? Sometimes we may need a little help to fan the flames of dreams we may have put on hold or decided were unattainable. What thing would you do if you knew you would not fail?
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Coming out in midlife
" I knew I was different, but just wasn’t sure why or how…. And certainly wasn’t anyone I could talk to about it…."
"I had a religious upbringing. I was afraid of the spiritual repercussions. At that time I was brought up believing what I was I told..."
"All of a sudden, it hit me! I had been married to a man for 30 years and couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me. Why I didn’t feel that way for him..."
"I knew most of my life but stuffed it away. Married to a man, twice. Spent ten years on my own. My aha moment came at age 61...."
"I've always known yet decided to suppress my feelings. I married a good man. I've not come out as of yet. I feel I've left it too late now to leave and find my hearts desire..."
If you found this post, you very well may be a woman who's on the brink of coming out, either to yourself or others. It can be very scary.
Coming out is a multistep process. First you recognize and acknowledge to yourself that you are attracted to women. Then there is the decision about whether to tell others and/or act on it. Or maybe you've already acted on it and are now at a place of "Now what?" Maybe lots of guilt.
If you have built a life that looks to the rest of the world like that of a straight woman and you imagine coming out, you may be terrified that you will lose everything.
Any step of coming out can feel scary or overwhelming. Any step can last a mere minute or many decades.
Remember this: Every decision that has brought you to where you are today seemed like the right or most logical decision in that moment.
Know this: You can do hard things. You can figure out what to do. You can feel better.
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