My wife Jenn and I have been together since 1991. We've had our periods of relationship challenges over the years. Our decisions to stay together required a lot of intention from both of us. Either one of us could have called it quits and walked away. Neither of us was blameless in any of the challenges we've faced over the years.
I didn’t know then what I know now about relationships. There is not really very much info about our relationships out there even now. And I believe it really is different with two women in the mix.
It turns out there were a few things that made it possible for us to weather the storm and that research shows helps couples make it through rough times.
We communicated honestly, but weren’t brutal about it. We resisted the urge to get defensive and blame the other for our relationship issues. We forgave each other. We stated some clear boundaries. Frankly, we lucked into some skills that made it possible for us to mend the relationship and without them, I don’t think we would have made it.
Not all relationships last, nor should they. There are red flags that can signal major issues. And there are ways to get clear on what you want and how to start moving in that direction. Start with honest yet compassionate communication, staying open to hearing her concerns, resisting blame, and setting clear boundaries.
If you’d like to talk about what’s going on, I’m happy to help. Set up a free call by clicking this link.